102. Doing the Work After the Affair

In this episode of 'After the Affair,' host Luke Shillings delves into the concept of "doing the work" in the aftermath of betrayal, particularly in the context of the self-help world.

Often, we think of self-help as something we turn to only when something in our lives has gone wrong, a reactive measure rather than a proactive one. But the bigger question is, what does 'doing the work' even mean?

Luke discusses the importance of committing to self-improvement not just in times of crisis but as a regular practice.

He also reminds us of the first three lines of the self-coaching model: Circumstances, Thoughts, and Feelings, and explains how understanding these components can help us navigate the emotional landscape of betrayal and beyond. You can learn more about the self coaching model on Episode 20 - How to Handle any Problem ( https://www.lifecoachluke.com/podcast/episode/c20ef146/20-how-to-handle-any-problem )

Whether you’re currently dealing with the aftermath of infidelity or simply interested in how self-help can be integrated into your everyday life, this episode offers valuable insights into the power of "doing the work" before life throws its curveballs.

 

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Key Topics Discussed:

1. The Concept of "Doing the Work":

   • Understanding what "doing the work" means in the context of self-help and personal growth.
   • The difference between reactive and proactive self-help.

2. Self-Help as a Preventative Tool:

   • Why it’s important to engage in self-improvement before crises occur.
   • Building resilience and emotional strength through regular self-reflection and practice.

3. The Self-Coaching Model:

   • Introduction to the first three lines: Circumstances, Thoughts, and Feelings.
   • How these elements interact to shape our experiences and responses to betrayal.

4. Applying Self-Help in the Aftermath of Betrayal:

   • Practical strategies for using self-coaching techniques to navigate emotional challenges.
   • The long-term benefits of committing to "doing the work" consistently.

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Listener Takeaways:

• Proactive Self-Help: Understand the importance of integrating self-help practices into your life before challenges arise.
• Self-Coaching Basics: Learn how the Circumstances, Thoughts, and Feelings model can help you manage your emotional responses.
• Building Resilience: Discover how regular self-reflection and "doing the work" can strengthen your ability to handle life’s difficulties.

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Reflective Question:

How can you start integrating self-help practices into your daily routine, not just when things go wrong but as a way to build ongoing resilience?

 

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Call to Action:

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with others who might benefit. Stay connected with us for more resources and support on our website After the Affair and follow our podcast for updates on new episodes.

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Connect with Luke Shillings:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity