103. Why I Love Breaking the Rules of Infidelity: Societal Expectations Debunked

In this episode of After the Affair, host Luke Shillings takes a deep dive into the societal expectations surrounding infidelity and why many of them are not just wrong but harmful.

He lists the top 34 most common Societal Expectation Statements and challenges each and every one!

We often think of infidelity in black-and-white terms, assigning blame and passing judgement based on outdated norms and rigid stereotypes. But infidelity is far more complex than society tends to acknowledge.

Luke unpacks the dangers of oversimplifying infidelity, the damaging effects of punitive mindsets, and why rigid gender norms don’t hold up in the real world. Through honest reflection, this episode challenges the idea that infidelity always has to end a relationship, and instead offers a more nuanced understanding of what it means to heal, rebuild, or move on.

Whether you’ve been betrayed or were the one who was unfaithful, this episode will make you rethink what society says about infidelity and how it can impact your recovery.

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Key Topics Discussed:

Why Black-and-White Thinking Is Harmful:

Infidelity is often judged as entirely the fault of the unfaithful partner, ignoring relational dynamics and the complexity of the emotions involved.

Gender Norms and Why They Don't Work:

The stereotype that men cheat for sex and women cheat for emotional reasons misses the broader picture of human behaviour.

The Punishment Trap:

How shame, public humiliation, and the pressure to leave the relationship can hinder healing and growth, both for the betrayed and the unfaithful.

Why Infidelity Doesn’t Have to Mean the End:

Exploring the idea that, with the right support, some couples can rebuild trust and come out stronger on the other side.

The Overlooked Forms of Infidelity:

Emotional and digital infidelity often get ignored in societal discussions, but they can be just as damaging as physical cheating.

Judgement vs. Understanding:

Why casting judgement on the unfaithful partner doesn’t allow for personal growth or relationship repair, and how a restorative approach can offer more.

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Reflective Question:

How have societal expectations shaped your response to infidelity? Have these expectations helped or hindered your healing process?

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Connect with Luke Shillings:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

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