Wednesday Oct 09, 2024

107. Why Relationship Statistics Are Wrong About You

In this episode of After the Affair, Luke Shillings takes a deep dive into the topic of relationship statistics and why they don’t define you.

While statistics can provide context, they don’t account for the unique dynamics, growth, and emotional complexities of each individual relationship.

Luke explores the dangers of letting numbers dictate your relationship's fate and shares two real-life examples, one of a person who defied the odds and rebuilt trust after infidelity, and another who, despite having everything in their favour on paper, saw their marriage fall apart.

Key Points Discussed:

  1. Why We Rely on Statistics:
    • How numbers can create limiting beliefs and reinforce our fears in relationships.
  2. Possibility vs. Probability:
    • Shifting focus from statistical predictions to personal growth and possibility, empowering individuals to write their own stories.
  3. Two Real-Life Stories:
    • One partner who defied the odds after infidelity and rebuilt their marriage.
    • Another partner whose relationship, despite having every advantage on paper, fell apart due to a lack of emotional connection.
  4. The Power of Growth Mindset:
    • How personal growth and resilience can reshape your relationship, regardless of what the statistics say.
  5. Why Statistics Aren’t Destiny:
    • Relationships are complex and personal, no statistic can capture the uniqueness of your journey.

Have you ever allowed relationship statistics to influence your outlook on your relationship? What would change if you focused on possibility rather than predictions?


If you’ve ever felt boxed in by relationship statistics, this episode is for you. Remember, your relationship isn’t defined by numbers—only you and your partner can decide what’s possible. Tune in, reflect, and share this episode with someone who might need to hear it.

Connect with Luke:

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