123. Confirmation Bias: Are You Seeking What You Fear After Infidelity?

Do you ever feel like the evidence for your worst fears is everywhere? Whether it’s comments on social media or your own inner dialogue, it can feel impossible to escape the idea that you’ll never heal, your relationship is doomed, or you’re simply unworthy of love.

But here’s the truth: what you’re experiencing isn’t reality, it’s confirmation bias.

In this episode, we’re breaking down how confirmation bias works, how it keeps you stuck in cycles of fear and self-doubt, and most importantly, how to break free. You’ll learn practical steps to challenge fear-driven thoughts, see situations more clearly, and replace negativity with balanced perspectives that fuel growth and healing.

If you’re tired of being trapped by your fears, this episode will show you how to take back control.

---

Key Points & Takeaways:

1. What is Confirmation Bias?

   • A cognitive shortcut where we subconsciously favour information that supports our existing beliefs, even if those beliefs are harmful or untrue.
   • Quote: "The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend." — Robertson Davies.

2. The Impact of Confirmation Bias:

   • Keeps you stuck in cycles of fear, self-doubt, and guilt.
   • Reinforces harmful beliefs like, “I’ll never recover,” or “This relationship is doomed.”
   • Blocks opportunities for growth and healing by ignoring evidence that contradicts your fears.

3. Breaking Free from the Fear Trap:

   • Awareness: Notice when you’re seeking out proof of your fears instead of truth.
   • Challenge the Thought: Ask yourself, “Is there evidence against this belief?”
   • Seek Balanced Perspectives: Surround yourself with voices and resources that encourage growth, not just validation of negativity.

4. Big Idea: What you focus on grows. By challenging confirmation bias, you can break free from fear-driven cycles and embrace healing and personal growth.

This week, challenge yourself to catch one fear-driven thought and ask:

• Is there evidence against this belief that I’m ignoring?
• What’s one positive perspective I can explore instead?
• What would I tell a friend in my situation?

Share your experience with me in the After the Affair Community on Facebook, or message me on Instagram. Let’s work on breaking these patterns together.

 

Connect with Luke:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity