138. Seeking Reassurance after Betrayal: It’s Never Enough Though

You know your partner’s betrayal wasn’t your fault.

You understand the logic.

But still, deep down, you’re stuck.

Still needing reassurance. Still bracing for the next emotional shift. Still terrified of being too much, or not enough.

Why?

Because some of what you’re feeling didn’t start with them.

In this episode, Luke explores how emotional survival strategies from childhood shape the way we respond to betrayal, uncertainty, and intimacy as adults. If you’ve been chasing reassurance, battling emotional spirals, or waiting for your partner to give you the peace you can’t seem to find, this episode is for you.

It’s not about blame.

It’s about awareness.

And reclaiming the power you forgot you had.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

✔️ Why betrayal activates old survival wiring, not just current fear

✔️ The truth about reassurance, and why it never lasts

✔️ How emotional outsourcing creates cycles of panic and distance

✔️ The difference between fear of what might happen… and the belief you wouldn’t survive it

✔️ How to build internal trust using the self-coaching model and ladder thoughts

✔️ Why your partner can’t fix wounds they didn’t create, and why you can

 

💬 Reflection Prompt:

Where in your healing are you still waiting to be saved?

And what might shift if you stopped outsourcing that safety, and started practising it with yourself?

 

Connect with Luke:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity