After the Affair

60. Gaslighting an Affair? Take a look in the Mirror

Join me in this enlightening episode of "After the Affair, where I delve into the often-overlooked phenomenon of self-gaslighting following infidelity. Hosted by myself, relationship & infidelity recovery coach Luke Shillings, this episode explores the subtle yet profound ways individuals unknowingly gaslight themselves after experiencing betrayal in a relationship.
Discover the insidious nature of self-gaslighting, where victims of infidelity question their own reality, emotions, and sanity. I'll draw from my personal journey and professional expertise in infidelity recovery, and provide insightful analysis and an empathetic understanding of this psychological predicament.
Key highlights of this episode include:
Defining Self-Gaslighting: Unravel the concept of self-gaslighting and its impact on individuals grappling with the aftermath of betrayal.
Personal Stories: I share my own experiences and those of clients, offering real-life examples of self-gaslighting in action.
Expert Insights: Gain valuable perspectives on recognizing and overcoming this form of self-deception.
Practical Strategies: Learn effective techniques to combat self-gaslighting, rebuild self-trust, and foster emotional healing.
Whether you're a betrayed partner seeking guidance, a relationship enthusiast, or simply interested in human psychology, "The Inner Betrayer: Gaslighting with a Mirror" offers a deep dive into understanding and healing from the internal conflicts post-betrayal. Tune in for an episode filled with compassion, wisdom, and empowering advice to navigate the complexities of infidelity recovery.Not taken the Trust-Score quiz yet? Get you free detailed report today. Find out more here -> www.lifecoachluke.com/trustscore
 
Want to share your story on a future episode? Have some useful insights from your own journey? Are you a professional who can offer an alternative insight? Let me know at luke@lifecoachluke.com
 

59. Trust After Betrayal: Is There Hope?

Explore the complex journey of rebuilding trust after the pain of infidelity in this insightful episode of 'After the Affair'. Join Luke Shillings, a dedicated relationship coach and podcast host, as he delves into one of the most challenging questions faced by those who have experienced betrayal: Can trust truly be restored?
In "Trust After Betrayal: Is There Hope?", Join me as I provide not only a compassionate look into the emotional upheaval following infidelity but also share out-of-the-box examples and practical guidance for those seeking to mend the fractures in their relationships. This second episode focused specifically on Trust, offers a beacon of hope to individuals questioning the possibility of regaining trust and security in their partnerships.
Listeners will be equipped with actionable tools and transformative concepts that aid in self-reflection and trust-building. Whether you are directly affected by betrayal or supporting someone through their journey, this episode serves as a crucial resource for understanding the nuanced healing process and the potential for forging stronger bonds in the wake of adversity.
Tune in to find out how to navigate the nuances of trust after betrayal and learn if there's a light at the end of this tunnel.Looking for the link to the Trust Quiz mentioned in this week's episode - Here it is, enjoy!
www.lifecoachluke.com/trustscore
 
Have any questions or suggestions for a future episode? Perhaps you think you would be a great guest ... contact me directly at luke@lifecoachluke.com
 

58. Why We Stray: Does Attachment Theory Explain the Unthinkable

In this episode of 'After the Affair,' Join me Luke Shillings as I delve into the profound connection between attachment styles and infidelity. Discover how being Anxiously Attached, Avoidantly Attached, or Fearful-Avoidant can influence the likelihood and aftermath of cheating in a relationship. Whether you're healing from betrayal or looking to safeguard your partnership, this episode offers invaluable insights tailored to your emotional makeup. Learn how to navigate recovery based on your attachment style and even how to prevent infidelity through self-awareness and targeted emotional strategies. Tune in for expert advice on creating a more secure, resilient relationship. Don't miss this essential guide to understanding the psychology of infidelity through the lens of attachment theory.
 
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After the Affair Podcast - What to expect.

Welcome to the 'After the Affair' podcast trailer, your essential introduction to the gripping world of infidelity recovery and relationship rebuilding.
Hosted by Luke Shillings, a certified relationship coach specialising in infidelity recovery, this podcast is your haven for navigating the turbulent waters of betrayal.
Whether you're struggling with the aftermath of an affair or searching for a deeper understanding of the complexities involved, the episodes dig deep into topics like 'The Cheater's Mindset,' 'The Role of Self-Awareness,' and even the controversial question—Can infidelity strengthen a relationship?
From attachment theory to societal pressures, from emotional fallout to empowered healing - each episode is a stepping stone on your journey toward recovery or enlightenment.
Don't miss the deep dives, expert interviews, and invaluable insights that have helped thousands to heal, understand, and thrive.
Subscribe now and hit that notification bell to become a part of this rapidly growing community of survivors, healers, and seekers.
Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
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57. Between Culture & Infidelity - A Journey of Identity, Love and Self Discovery with Yasmin Majid

In this episode of "After the Affair," Join me Luke Shillings as I sit down with guest Yasmin Majid as she shares her powerful story of love, resilience, and personal growth. Yasmin discusses her experience navigating a multicultural upbringing, her marriage of 23 years, and the unexpected revelations that led to its end. She opens up about the lessons she learned from her divorce, her journey of healing from domestic abuse, and her pursuit of self-improvement. Join Luke and Yasmin as they delve into the importance of unconditional love, understanding, and reframing setbacks as opportunities for personal transformation.Find Yasmin at https://www.instagram.com/wellbeingwithyasmin/
Contact her directly: wellbeingwithyasmin@gmail.com Learn more about working with me at www.lifecoachluke.com
Learn your Trust score now at www.lifecoachluke.com/trust
 

56. ’Humping’ After the Affair - Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Recovery

In this eye-opening episode of 'After the Affair,' I explore the challenging middle ground of the healing journey - affectionately coined as "Humping After the Affair." Don't let the cheeky title fool you; we're delving deep into that frustrating plateau where you feel stuck between the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future. You've made some progress, but why does it seem like you're just going through the motions? Join me, Luke Shillings as I break down the psychology behind this stagnant phase. I discuss how to avoid the pitfalls of self-judgement, and offer actionable tips for getting your recovery back on track. Whether you're in the middle of your own recovery journey or supporting someone who is, this episode promises valuable insights to help you get over that hump. Tune in and rediscover the momentum you need to move forward.Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com
Get your Trust-score result here - www.lifecoachluke.com/trust
 

55. The Invisible Weight - Societal Pressures after Betrayal

In this episode of 'After the Affair,' I take a look at the societal pressures that shape how we cope, react, and even move forward. While the emotional toll of betrayal is a weighty topic by itself, the expectations from friends, family, and even complete strangers can add an invisible weight that often goes unspoken.
I explore the history of societal norms surrounding betrayal, how media influences our perceptions, and the varying expectations set by gender, culture, and even social media platforms. I also break down the roles of friends and family in shaping the path of recovery, often in ways they might not even realize.
This episode offers a multi-dimensional look at the societal pressures complicating the already intricate process of healing from betrayal. Whether you're a betrayed partner, a wayward spouse, or just someone looking to understand the intricacies of human relationships, this episode provides a fresh perspective you won't want to miss.
 Discover Your Relationship's Trust Type after Betrayal! 
I wanted to share something I've been working on — the "Relationship Trust Type" Quiz. This is a unique tool I’ve designed based on my experience as an infidelity recovery coach to offer some vital insights into the trust dynamics in your relationship, especially as you’re navigating through the aftermath of an affair.
 Why Take The Quiz?
Gain a deeper understanding of the trust you and your partner share.
Identify potential areas for improvement and healing.
Receive tailored advice for your specific trust type, to guide you in your recovery journey.
 How Does It Work?
 Take the Quiz: It takes about 3 minutes! Get Your Trust Type: Learn whether your trust is Conditional, Self-Anchored, Earned, Optimistic, or Distrust. Receive Your Trust Report: Get actionable advice tailored to your results, guiding you on what to focus on to rebuild and strengthen your relationship.
The insights you'll gain from this quiz can act as a foundation for constructive conversations with your partner and could be a step towards rebuilding trust.
 Click Here To Take The Quiz! https://luke-mxnfloxs.scoreapp.com

54. Divorce after Betrayal - Expert Perspectives with Charlotte Tweed

In this episode of "After the Affair," host Luke Shillings interviews Charlotte Tweed, a family divorce solicitor, about her personal experience with divorce and infidelity.
Charlotte shares her own story of growing up as a third-party observer of her parents' relationship breakdown and how it influenced her career choice.
She also provides valuable insights and professional advice for individuals navigating divorce proceedings in the aftermath of betrayal.
 
You can get in touch with Charlotte and the team at Pepperell's:www.pepperells.com
www.facebook.com/pepperellssolicitors
www.instagram.com/pepperells
If you are enjoying these episodes but still finding the implementation a challenge? Let's talk ... you can contact me through the website - www.lifecoachluke.com or email me directly at luke@lifecoachluke.com
 

53. Betrayed and Doomed - Spot the Signs and Know When to Walk

In this eye-opening episode of 'After the Affair,' join me Luke Shillings, as I identify the key elements of a Doomed Relationship ... What to look out for and what to do about it, plus the aching question, When is it time to walk away?I kick off by identifying the red flags that could signal a doomed relationship—warning signs that you can't afford to ignore. 
But understanding the symptoms is just the first step; I also peel back the layers of psychology that drive these problematic behaviors. From personal responsibility to cognitive dissonance, I unpack the mental and emotional mechanisms that can lead to a relationship’s downfall. 
The episode doesn't stop at identification and understanding; it offers actionable steps to take when faced with these red flags. Whether that involves professional help or personal reflection, you'll come away with concrete advice for navigating troubled waters.
And finally, I tackle the heart-wrenching question: When is it time to walk away?
Not all relationships can or should be saved. Sometimes, the most loving act is to let go. Learn how to recognise when that time has come, and what steps to take if it has.
Don't miss this comprehensive guide to recognising, understanding, and addressing the signs of a relationship in jeopardy.
If you're in a relationship or know someone who is, this episode is an essential listen.
Enjoyed this episode? It'd be amazing if you could leave a review or rate the episode.Want to hear about something specific? Let me know ... reach out at luke@lifecoachluke.com Visit www.lifecoachluke.com to learn more about the On Purpose Coaching Program

52. Ignoring Red Flags - The Guilt of Not Acting Sooner

Are you carrying the heavy burden of guilt after discovering your partner's affair, wondering why you didn't act sooner on those red flags? 
In this eye-opening episode, I look into the emotional turmoil known as 'Inaction Guilt,' dispelling the myth that you're to blame for their betrayal.
Learn how to navigate these complicated feelings and why it's crucial to free yourself from the guilt trap for a healthier emotional future.
To learn more about working with me:Visit: www.lifecoachluke.com
Contact me directly: luke@lifecoachluke.com
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