After the Affair
The ‘After the affair’ podcast with Luke Shillings is here to help you process, decide, and move forward on purpose following infidelity. Let’s explore what’s required to rebuild trust not only in yourself, but also with others. Whether you stay or leave, I can help! and no matter what your story, there will be something here for you.
Episodes
Wednesday Nov 01, 2023
Wednesday Nov 01, 2023
Welcome to the 'After the Affair' podcast trailer, your essential introduction to the gripping world of infidelity recovery and relationship rebuilding.
Hosted by Luke Shillings, a certified relationship coach specialising in infidelity recovery, this podcast is your haven for navigating the turbulent waters of betrayal.
Whether you're struggling with the aftermath of an affair or searching for a deeper understanding of the complexities involved, the episodes dig deep into topics like 'The Cheater's Mindset,' 'The Role of Self-Awareness,' and even the controversial question—Can infidelity strengthen a relationship?
From attachment theory to societal pressures, from emotional fallout to empowered healing - each episode is a stepping stone on your journey toward recovery or enlightenment.
Don't miss the deep dives, expert interviews, and invaluable insights that have helped thousands to heal, understand, and thrive.
Subscribe now and hit that notification bell to become a part of this rapidly growing community of survivors, healers, and seekers.
Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/mylifecoachluke
Instagram: www.instagram.com/mylifecoachluke
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mylifecoachluke
TikTok: @mylifecoachluke
Wednesday Oct 25, 2023
Wednesday Oct 25, 2023
In this episode of "After the Affair," Join me Luke Shillings as I sit down with guest Yasmin Majid as she shares her powerful story of love, resilience, and personal growth. Yasmin discusses her experience navigating a multicultural upbringing, her marriage of 23 years, and the unexpected revelations that led to its end. She opens up about the lessons she learned from her divorce, her journey of healing from domestic abuse, and her pursuit of self-improvement. Join Luke and Yasmin as they delve into the importance of unconditional love, understanding, and reframing setbacks as opportunities for personal transformation.Find Yasmin at https://www.instagram.com/wellbeingwithyasmin/
Contact her directly: wellbeingwithyasmin@gmail.com Learn more about working with me at www.lifecoachluke.com
Learn your Trust score now at www.lifecoachluke.com/trust
Wednesday Oct 18, 2023
Wednesday Oct 18, 2023
In this eye-opening episode of 'After the Affair,' I explore the challenging middle ground of the healing journey - affectionately coined as "Humping After the Affair." Don't let the cheeky title fool you; we're delving deep into that frustrating plateau where you feel stuck between the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future. You've made some progress, but why does it seem like you're just going through the motions? Join me, Luke Shillings as I break down the psychology behind this stagnant phase. I discuss how to avoid the pitfalls of self-judgement, and offer actionable tips for getting your recovery back on track. Whether you're in the middle of your own recovery journey or supporting someone who is, this episode promises valuable insights to help you get over that hump. Tune in and rediscover the momentum you need to move forward.Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com
Get your Trust-score result here - www.lifecoachluke.com/trust
Wednesday Oct 11, 2023
Wednesday Oct 11, 2023
In this episode of 'After the Affair,' I take a look at the societal pressures that shape how we cope, react, and even move forward. While the emotional toll of betrayal is a weighty topic by itself, the expectations from friends, family, and even complete strangers can add an invisible weight that often goes unspoken.
I explore the history of societal norms surrounding betrayal, how media influences our perceptions, and the varying expectations set by gender, culture, and even social media platforms. I also break down the roles of friends and family in shaping the path of recovery, often in ways they might not even realize.
This episode offers a multi-dimensional look at the societal pressures complicating the already intricate process of healing from betrayal. Whether you're a betrayed partner, a wayward spouse, or just someone looking to understand the intricacies of human relationships, this episode provides a fresh perspective you won't want to miss.
Discover Your Relationship's Trust Type after Betrayal!
I wanted to share something I've been working on — the "Relationship Trust Type" Quiz. This is a unique tool I’ve designed based on my experience as an infidelity recovery coach to offer some vital insights into the trust dynamics in your relationship, especially as you’re navigating through the aftermath of an affair.
Why Take The Quiz?
Gain a deeper understanding of the trust you and your partner share.
Identify potential areas for improvement and healing.
Receive tailored advice for your specific trust type, to guide you in your recovery journey.
How Does It Work?
Take the Quiz: It takes about 3 minutes! Get Your Trust Type: Learn whether your trust is Conditional, Self-Anchored, Earned, Optimistic, or Distrust. Receive Your Trust Report: Get actionable advice tailored to your results, guiding you on what to focus on to rebuild and strengthen your relationship.
The insights you'll gain from this quiz can act as a foundation for constructive conversations with your partner and could be a step towards rebuilding trust.
Click Here To Take The Quiz! https://luke-mxnfloxs.scoreapp.com
Wednesday Oct 04, 2023
Wednesday Oct 04, 2023
In this episode of "After the Affair," host Luke Shillings interviews Charlotte Tweed, a family divorce solicitor, about her personal experience with divorce and infidelity.
Charlotte shares her own story of growing up as a third-party observer of her parents' relationship breakdown and how it influenced her career choice.
She also provides valuable insights and professional advice for individuals navigating divorce proceedings in the aftermath of betrayal.
You can get in touch with Charlotte and the team at Pepperell's:www.pepperells.com
www.facebook.com/pepperellssolicitors
www.instagram.com/pepperells
If you are enjoying these episodes but still finding the implementation a challenge? Let's talk ... you can contact me through the website - www.lifecoachluke.com or email me directly at luke@lifecoachluke.com
Wednesday Sep 27, 2023
Wednesday Sep 27, 2023
In this eye-opening episode of 'After the Affair,' join me Luke Shillings, as I identify the key elements of a Doomed Relationship ... What to look out for and what to do about it, plus the aching question, When is it time to walk away?I kick off by identifying the red flags that could signal a doomed relationship—warning signs that you can't afford to ignore.
But understanding the symptoms is just the first step; I also peel back the layers of psychology that drive these problematic behaviors. From personal responsibility to cognitive dissonance, I unpack the mental and emotional mechanisms that can lead to a relationship’s downfall.
The episode doesn't stop at identification and understanding; it offers actionable steps to take when faced with these red flags. Whether that involves professional help or personal reflection, you'll come away with concrete advice for navigating troubled waters.
And finally, I tackle the heart-wrenching question: When is it time to walk away?
Not all relationships can or should be saved. Sometimes, the most loving act is to let go. Learn how to recognise when that time has come, and what steps to take if it has.
Don't miss this comprehensive guide to recognising, understanding, and addressing the signs of a relationship in jeopardy.
If you're in a relationship or know someone who is, this episode is an essential listen.
Enjoyed this episode? It'd be amazing if you could leave a review or rate the episode.Want to hear about something specific? Let me know ... reach out at luke@lifecoachluke.com Visit www.lifecoachluke.com to learn more about the On Purpose Coaching Program
Wednesday Sep 20, 2023
Wednesday Sep 20, 2023
Are you carrying the heavy burden of guilt after discovering your partner's affair, wondering why you didn't act sooner on those red flags?
In this eye-opening episode, I look into the emotional turmoil known as 'Inaction Guilt,' dispelling the myth that you're to blame for their betrayal.
Learn how to navigate these complicated feelings and why it's crucial to free yourself from the guilt trap for a healthier emotional future.
To learn more about working with me:Visit: www.lifecoachluke.com
Contact me directly: luke@lifecoachluke.com
Follow me on Social media: Instagram: www.instagram.com/mylifecoachluke
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mylifecoachluke
Wednesday Sep 13, 2023
Wednesday Sep 13, 2023
Joining us today is my guest, Ben Pugh, who during the course of conversations shares his background and insights on how parents can better support their children during their teenage years, amidst the changes caused by infidelity. We discuss how modifying our own behaviours can create a positive experience for ourselves and in turn, influence our children's behaviour.
In our conversation, we'll delve into the concept of identity, cherishing positive experiences, and not allowing negative ones to define us. We'll also discuss the challenges of managing emotions as parents, reflecting on our own childhood experiences, and breaking the cycle of negative behaviour.
Tune in to learn more.
Guest details: Ben Pugh
IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/impact-parenting-with-perspective/id1523428934
Here's a link to a free relationship tune up
benpughcoaching.com/relationship
And, here's my website.
benpughcoaching.com
More about me:www.lifecoachluke.com
luke@lifecoachluke.com
Wednesday Sep 06, 2023
Wednesday Sep 06, 2023
In this 50th episode of "After the Affair," I take a look at the complexities of reentering the dating scene after experiencing betrayal.
It's uncharted territory for many, laden with emotional landmines and haunting questions about trust. But as your host, Luke Shillings, I'll guide you through this daunting yet crucial phase in your healing journey.
We kick off the episode by exploring how to navigate the world of dating with a fresh perspective on trust, urging you to exercise your "trust muscle" without the burden of past relationships.
We then discuss the often overlooked but vital aspect of timing, outlining how you can recognize when you're truly ready to seek a new partner without rushing the healing process.
Lastly, I equip you with the toolkit you need to identify red flags and establish clear boundaries in your future relationships.
If you're struggling with the question of 'when' and 'how' to start dating after betrayal, this episode is your bootcamp guide to finding love again, but more importantly, rediscovering the love you have for yourself.
Join me in this milestone episode as we unlock the strategies to rebuild trust, set healthy boundaries, and ultimately, prepare you for a fulfilling, respectful relationship in the future.Want to learn more about how I can help? Visit www.lifecoachluke.com or contact me directly at luke@lifecoachluke.com
Wednesday Aug 30, 2023
Wednesday Aug 30, 2023
In today's episode of 'After the Affair,' I uncover the often unspoken but pervasive issue that many betrayed partners grapple with: the Victim Mentality.
Feeling like a victim is an easy trap to fall into after experiencing betrayal, but it's also a trap that can hinder your recovery and personal growth.
Join me as I unravel:
1️⃣ The Danger of Victim Mentality: Understand how adopting a victim mindset can hold you back from healing and growing.
2️⃣ Empowerment through Narrative Control: Learn to reclaim your story, shifting your identity from a victim to a survivor, and possibly even a thriver.
3️⃣ Techniques to Overcome Victim Mentality: From challenging self-defeating thoughts to embracing the power of gratitude, discover actionable strategies that can significantly shift your mindset.
🔑 Key Insight: The episode centres around a provocative but liberating idea—"Being a victim is voluntary."
While you didn't choose to be betrayed, you have a choice in how you approach your healing and future.
Whether you're just beginning your recovery journey or looking to break free from lingering limitations, this episode offers a wealth of insights and practical takeaways that you can implement today. Let's unchain our minds and reclaim our lives, one step at a time.
Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com
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