After the Affair

47. Understanding Cheaters

In this episode, I try to get a better understanding of those who cheat and how it affects the healing process after betrayal. Join me Luke Shillings as I uncover the emotions, justifications, and pain behind acts of infidelity. I dive into the mindset of the cheater, exploring the grey areas that often go overlooked. Remember, understanding does not equate to condoning, but it opens the door to authentic conversation, reconciliation, or closure. So, let's go beyond the surface and uncover the multidimensionality of those who have been betrayed and the powerful role empathy plays in their journey towards growth and change. Listen in for an episode that challenges our preconceptions and offers a path towards healing. Welcome to "After the Affair."
Got a question? 
Let me know at luke@lifecoachluke.com
 
Learn more at:
Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
 
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46. From Struggle to Triumph - Heather O’Connor’s Tale of Reinvention after Divorce

In this episode of After the Affair, join me Luke Shillings as I welcome divorce and custody attorney Heather O'Connor to share her personal journey and professional expertise.
Heather discusses the challenges and emotional complexities of divorce, highlighting the importance of seeking guidance and support during this difficult process. She shares personal experiences, provides practical advice, and encourages listeners to prioritize their own happiness and well-being.
Heather's inspiring story of resilience and determination will leave you feeling empowered and ready to navigate the aftermath of an affair. Tune in to gain valuable insights and tools for moving forward in your own journey of healing and growth.
 
You can find out more about Heather and O'Connor Family Law below:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/oconnorfamilylaw/
TikTik: https://www.tiktok.com/@oconnorfamilylaw?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@oconnorfamilylaw
Everything else: https://linktr.ee/OCFL
 
To find out more about the On Purpose Coaching Program, visit - www.lifecoachluke.com
To contact me directly - luke@lifecoachluke.com
 

45. Affair Partners - The bad smell that just won’t leave

Stuck with the stench of your ex's lover?
In this controversial episode of 'After the Affair,' I dive into the dirty laundry and explore how to cleanse your life of the lingering presence of the affair partner.
Join me, Luke Shillings, as I share my story, tools and strategies to air out the fallout and reclaim your space, your peace, and your life.
 
Let's go!
Website: https://www.lifecoachluke.com
Contact: luke@lifecoachluke.com
 

44. Redefining Masculinity with Jennifer Jehl

In this episode of After the Affair, I'm joined by Jennifer Jehl. Jenn helps men create next-level confidence by discovering their deepest selves in order to live with freedom & fulfilment.
She addresses the self-blame that many men experience after an affair. We speak about the impact of significant life changes on their sense of identity as husbands, family men, and fathers.
Jenn shares her insights on the need for men to be physically strong and healthy while emphasizing the importance of self-control and emotional intelligence. She highlights the detrimental effects of societal pressure and the lack of strong male role models in children's lives.
We discuss the imbalance in personal lives that successful men often face and the importance of discovering a purpose and creating a new vision for life. 
She shares her journey of overcoming a toxic relationship, and how it led her to self-discovery and helping others. We also explore the idea of being dangerous but controlled and discuss the difficulties in defining this concept without proper guidance.
Join us on this thought-provoking episode as we dive into the complexities of masculinity, emotional intelligence, and finding purpose after betrayal on After the Affair.
To learn more about Jennifer and the work she does:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-jehl-7a0379211
Facebook: @jenniferdjehl https://www.facebook.com/jenniferdjehl
Instagram: @jenn.jehl https://www.instagram.com/jenn.jehl/
 
To learn more about working with me visit: https://www.lifecoachluke.com
Want to make a suggestion for a podcast episode? Or want to share your story? Email me directly at luke@lifecoachluke.com 
 
 
 

43. Solitude - Working alone, Healing together

In this week's episode, I look into the intricate ways people process emotions, influenced by their unique experiences, upbringing, and societal expectations. Emphasizing the common patterns of emotional avoidance and the search for external validation, I dissect these methods, illustrating how they prevent genuine emotional processing and prevent us from getting what we want.
Considering some of my own experiences, such as bankruptcy, divorce, and health crises, to underscore the importance of solitude in the self-healing process. Solitude fosters a safe environment for self-reflection, enabling us to face difficult emotions, understand our desires and fears, and initiate meaningful internal dialogue.
Embrace the transformative power of solitude. No matter the adversity you face, remember, you are not alone. Stay strong, lean into solitude, and keep moving forward towards healing and self-discovery.
 
Find out more at www.lifecoachluke.com
Contact me directly at luke@lifecoachluke.com
 

42. Pivot after Infidelity with Furkhan Dandia

In this episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with Furkhan Dandia. Furkhan is a therapist, author, speaker and coach.
After going through adversity and working in the corporate world as an Engineer for many years, Furkhan decided to pivot and pursue a Master's in Psychology. He is passionate about making a difference in people’s lives and working with them to find their purpose.
Going through a divorce made him realise how much shame there is for men around failure. That further motivated him to help other men. After seeing the life-changing benefits of therapy, Furkhan decided to become a therapist. In addition to becoming a therapist, he has also released a book, Pursuit Of Self-Love: 30 Uplifting Messages and Reflections.
We discuss the ability to pivot following significant life events such as infidelity. The difficulties in expressing emotions, especially for men. Why do we fail to do the things we tell ourselves we 'should' do and the reason the 'plateau of latent potential' stop so many of us in our tracks.
 
You can find Furkhan on:
Instagram: @eunoiazen
TikTok: eunoia_zen
YouTube: eunoiazen
Facebook: EunoiaZen
LinkedIn: Furkhan Dandia
 
You can find myself, Luke Shillings:www.lifecoachluke.com
luke@lifecoachluke.com 
 
Follow on Social media, IG, FB, TikTok @mylifecoachluke
 

41. The Aftermath - How to deal with Sudden Change

In the latest episode of "The After the Affair", join me as I navigate the treacherous waters of sudden change post-infidelity.
This change can leave us feeling disoriented and desperate for control, but what if we changed our perspective? What if we chose to view this alteration not as a disastrous upheaval but as a challenging opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery? As I venture into these deep waters, I’ll discuss the importance of reframing mindset, and learning to accept change, rather than resisting it.
Delve deeper into this topic with me as together we can explore how fighting change can only prolong the pain and delay the healing process.
I’ll discuss and uncover various strategies to cope with this major shift in your personal life. From mindfulness to prioritizing self-care and reaching out to your support networks, learn practical and effective techniques to accept and embrace change. Listen in to discover how you can convert life's unexpected detours into transformative paths towards growth and recovery.
Looking for someone to help you through this? The On Purpose coaching program is built to support your journey. Visit www.lifecoachluke.com to learn more.Have a question for me ... reach out and contact me directly at luke@lifecoachluke.com and ask me anything.
 
 

40. Looking Inside with Jen Frey

When we see things that aren't right in our relationships and have no idea how to fix them ... the easiest thing to do is look around and see what everyone else is doing.
We spend most of our lives trying to figure stuff out by comparison. The problem with this is, 'comparison is the thief of joy'. We are left feeling like we aren't good enough, or our partners aren't good enough. If only they would change and everything would be ok!
Join me today in a fascinating conversation with Master Certified Coach Jen Frey as we talk about confidence, worthiness, shame, the Reticular Activating System and the problem of looking externally to solve our relationship problems.
 
To find out more about what Jen does, here are the details:
Website: https://Jenfreycoaching.com
Jen's podcast - 'Think On Purpose' --> https://open.spotify.com/show/2jEtcnOmfsepmpoBzibkcH?si=sHwT3liFSoSWKBZvl9DUcw
Follow her on Instagram - https://instagram.com/jen.frey.coaching?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==
 
To find out more about working with me or learning from my additional resources:
 
On Purpose Coaching Program: www.lifecoachluke.com
Contact me directly: luke@lifecoachluke.com
 
 
 

39. Unveiling EmpathMe - The Dark Side of Self-Empathy

In the aftermath of an affair, the path to healing is often paved with self-reflection and inner exploration. Join me as I delve into the depths of what I call "EmpathMe", a concept that shines a light on the darker side of self-empathy. In this podcast episode, I explore the complexities of navigating the aftermath of betrayal, revealing the challenges and breakthroughs that come with self-understanding.
I uncover the intricacies of "EmpathMe" and its role in post-affair healing. Join me on this journey of self-awareness, as we confront the uncomfortable truths.
If you're ready to confront your inner turmoil, find solace in vulnerability, and embark on a profound healing journey after betrayal, this podcast is for you. Tune in to "Unveiling EmpathMe" and discover the transformative potential that lies within the dark corners of self-empathy.
 
To find out what working with me might look like, visit www.lifecoachluke.com 
To get on my subscriber to keep up with all the latest going's on at lifecoachlukeHQ then visit www.lifecoachluke.com/subscribe today!
 
 

38. Breakthrough Conversations with Diana Maria Indries

In this captivating podcast episode, join me for a breakthrough conversation with the brilliant creator behind the relationship card game, 'Better Topics'.
Discover how this innovative game is revolutionizing communication within couples and fostering stronger connections. Through thought-provoking questions, exciting challenges, and rewarding experiences, the game serves as a catalyst for meaningful discussions and deeper connections.
My guest Diana Maria Indries, will delve into the inspiration behind 'Better Topics', sharing insights on how it empowers couples to engage in open, honest, and enriching conversations.
Prepare to uncover the secrets to building a deeper connection with your partner as we explore the transformative power of 'Better Topics' in this enlightening episode.
 
To get yourself a copy of the Better Topics game or to learn more visit: www.bettertopics.com 
To contact Diana directly: diana@bettertopics.com
 
To find out what working with me might look like, visit www.lifecoachluke.com 
To get on my subscriber to keep up with all the latest going's on at lifecoachlukeHQ then visit www.lifecoachluke.com/subscribe today!