After the Affair

51. Parenting Through Infidelity with Ben Pugh

Joining us today is my guest, Ben Pugh, who during the course of conversations shares his background and insights on how parents can better support their children during their teenage years, amidst the changes caused by infidelity. We discuss how modifying our own behaviours can create a positive experience for ourselves and in turn, influence our children's behaviour.
In our conversation, we'll delve into the concept of identity, cherishing positive experiences, and not allowing negative ones to define us. We'll also discuss the challenges of managing emotions as parents, reflecting on our own childhood experiences, and breaking the cycle of negative behaviour.
Tune in to learn more.
Guest details: Ben Pugh
IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/impact-parenting-with-perspective/id1523428934
 
Here's a link to a free relationship tune up
benpughcoaching.com/relationship
 
And, here's my website.
benpughcoaching.com
 
More about me:www.lifecoachluke.com
luke@lifecoachluke.com
 
 

50. Dating After the Affair

In this 50th episode of "After the Affair," I take a look at the complexities of reentering the dating scene after experiencing betrayal.
It's uncharted territory for many, laden with emotional landmines and haunting questions about trust. But as your host, Luke Shillings, I'll guide you through this daunting yet crucial phase in your healing journey. 
We kick off the episode by exploring how to navigate the world of dating with a fresh perspective on trust, urging you to exercise your "trust muscle" without the burden of past relationships.
We then discuss the often overlooked but vital aspect of timing, outlining how you can recognize when you're truly ready to seek a new partner without rushing the healing process.
Lastly, I equip you with the toolkit you need to identify red flags and establish clear boundaries in your future relationships.
If you're struggling with the question of 'when' and 'how' to start dating after betrayal, this episode is your bootcamp guide to finding love again, but more importantly, rediscovering the love you have for yourself.
Join me in this milestone episode as we unlock the strategies to rebuild trust, set healthy boundaries, and ultimately, prepare you for a fulfilling, respectful relationship in the future.Want to learn more about how I can help? Visit www.lifecoachluke.com or contact me directly at luke@lifecoachluke.com
 

49. A Choice No One Talks About: Are you Volunteering to be a Victim?

In today's episode of 'After the Affair,' I uncover the often unspoken but pervasive issue that many betrayed partners grapple with: the Victim Mentality.
Feeling like a victim is an easy trap to fall into after experiencing betrayal, but it's also a trap that can hinder your recovery and personal growth.
Join me as I unravel:
1️⃣ The Danger of Victim Mentality: Understand how adopting a victim mindset can hold you back from healing and growing.
2️⃣ Empowerment through Narrative Control: Learn to reclaim your story, shifting your identity from a victim to a survivor, and possibly even a thriver.
3️⃣ Techniques to Overcome Victim Mentality: From challenging self-defeating thoughts to embracing the power of gratitude, discover actionable strategies that can significantly shift your mindset.
🔑 Key Insight: The episode centres around a provocative but liberating idea—"Being a victim is voluntary."
While you didn't choose to be betrayed, you have a choice in how you approach your healing and future.
Whether you're just beginning your recovery journey or looking to break free from lingering limitations, this episode offers a wealth of insights and practical takeaways that you can implement today. Let's unchain our minds and reclaim our lives, one step at a time.
 
Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com
 

48. Motivating Change: Faust Ruggiero’s Guide for Professional Self-Help

In this episode of "After the Affair," host I am joined by guest Faust Ruggiero to discuss the importance of accountability and personal growth after a breakup.
We delve into the complexities of relationships, infidelity, and the impact on our sense of identity. Join us as we explore practical strategies for moving forward and finding internal strength to create a fulfilling and empowered life.
Faust A. Ruggiero’s professional career spans almost 40 years, and is diversified and compelling, as it has consistently established new and exciting cutting-edge counseling programs in its pursuit of professional excellence and personal life enhancement. He is a published research author, clinical trainer, and a therapist who has worked in settings that have included clinics for deaf children, prisons, nursing homes, substance abuse centers, inpatient facilities, major corporations, both national and international, and as the President of the Community Psychological Center in Bangor, Pennsylvania. In that capacity, he developed the Process Way of Life counseling program, and has developed it into a formal text presented in the Fix Yourself Handbook.In the summer of 2016, Mr. Ruggiero decided to develop the Process Life Program into a text that can be published, and would help people in need address the difficult situations that are affecting their lives. The Fix Yourself Handbook was completed in December of 2019. On February 1st, 2020, The Fix Yourself Handbook received the Silver Award from The Nonfiction Authors Association. On May 2, 2020, it received the Gold Award from Literary Titan. On September 1st, 2020, it received the Bronze Award from Reader's Favorite. He has appeared on television and radio shows, and podcasts discussing the Process Way of Life presented in The Fix Yourself Handbook both nationally and internationally. His radio show "Fix It With Faust" debuted in June of 2021, and The Fix Yourself Handbook II; The Journey Continues is currently in development.
 
Want to reach out to me directly? Send me a message on social media and drop me an email at luke@lifecoachluke.com
 
Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/mylifecoachluke
Instagram: www.instagram.com/mylifecoachluke
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mylifecoachluke
TikTok: @mylifecoachluke
Discovery Call: www.lifecoachluke.com/booking-calendar/discovery-call
Podcast: www.lifecoachluke.com/podcast
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/24Mxm7BItKT4xAz2Psfyh8?si=7dcc4d546d984c41
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/after-the-affair/id1648061200
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/lifecoachluke

47. Understanding Cheaters

In this episode, I try to get a better understanding of those who cheat and how it affects the healing process after betrayal. Join me Luke Shillings as I uncover the emotions, justifications, and pain behind acts of infidelity. I dive into the mindset of the cheater, exploring the grey areas that often go overlooked. Remember, understanding does not equate to condoning, but it opens the door to authentic conversation, reconciliation, or closure. So, let's go beyond the surface and uncover the multidimensionality of those who have been betrayed and the powerful role empathy plays in their journey towards growth and change. Listen in for an episode that challenges our preconceptions and offers a path towards healing. Welcome to "After the Affair."
Got a question? 
Let me know at luke@lifecoachluke.com
 
Learn more at:
Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
 
Find me on socials at:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/mylifecoachluke
Instagram: www.instagram.com/mylifecoachluke
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mylifecoachluke
TikTok: @mylifecoachluke
 

46. From Struggle to Triumph - Heather O’Connor’s Tale of Reinvention after Divorce

In this episode of After the Affair, join me Luke Shillings as I welcome divorce and custody attorney Heather O'Connor to share her personal journey and professional expertise.
Heather discusses the challenges and emotional complexities of divorce, highlighting the importance of seeking guidance and support during this difficult process. She shares personal experiences, provides practical advice, and encourages listeners to prioritize their own happiness and well-being.
Heather's inspiring story of resilience and determination will leave you feeling empowered and ready to navigate the aftermath of an affair. Tune in to gain valuable insights and tools for moving forward in your own journey of healing and growth.
 
You can find out more about Heather and O'Connor Family Law below:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/oconnorfamilylaw/
TikTik: https://www.tiktok.com/@oconnorfamilylaw?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@oconnorfamilylaw
Everything else: https://linktr.ee/OCFL
 
To find out more about the On Purpose Coaching Program, visit - www.lifecoachluke.com
To contact me directly - luke@lifecoachluke.com
 

45. Affair Partners - The bad smell that just won’t leave

Stuck with the stench of your ex's lover?
In this controversial episode of 'After the Affair,' I dive into the dirty laundry and explore how to cleanse your life of the lingering presence of the affair partner.
Join me, Luke Shillings, as I share my story, tools and strategies to air out the fallout and reclaim your space, your peace, and your life.
 
Let's go!
Website: https://www.lifecoachluke.com
Contact: luke@lifecoachluke.com
 

44. Redefining Masculinity with Jennifer Jehl

In this episode of After the Affair, I'm joined by Jennifer Jehl. Jenn helps men create next-level confidence by discovering their deepest selves in order to live with freedom & fulfilment.
She addresses the self-blame that many men experience after an affair. We speak about the impact of significant life changes on their sense of identity as husbands, family men, and fathers.
Jenn shares her insights on the need for men to be physically strong and healthy while emphasizing the importance of self-control and emotional intelligence. She highlights the detrimental effects of societal pressure and the lack of strong male role models in children's lives.
We discuss the imbalance in personal lives that successful men often face and the importance of discovering a purpose and creating a new vision for life. 
She shares her journey of overcoming a toxic relationship, and how it led her to self-discovery and helping others. We also explore the idea of being dangerous but controlled and discuss the difficulties in defining this concept without proper guidance.
Join us on this thought-provoking episode as we dive into the complexities of masculinity, emotional intelligence, and finding purpose after betrayal on After the Affair.
To learn more about Jennifer and the work she does:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-jehl-7a0379211
Facebook: @jenniferdjehl https://www.facebook.com/jenniferdjehl
Instagram: @jenn.jehl https://www.instagram.com/jenn.jehl/
 
To learn more about working with me visit: https://www.lifecoachluke.com
Want to make a suggestion for a podcast episode? Or want to share your story? Email me directly at luke@lifecoachluke.com 
 
 
 

43. Solitude - Working alone, Healing together

In this week's episode, I look into the intricate ways people process emotions, influenced by their unique experiences, upbringing, and societal expectations. Emphasizing the common patterns of emotional avoidance and the search for external validation, I dissect these methods, illustrating how they prevent genuine emotional processing and prevent us from getting what we want.
Considering some of my own experiences, such as bankruptcy, divorce, and health crises, to underscore the importance of solitude in the self-healing process. Solitude fosters a safe environment for self-reflection, enabling us to face difficult emotions, understand our desires and fears, and initiate meaningful internal dialogue.
Embrace the transformative power of solitude. No matter the adversity you face, remember, you are not alone. Stay strong, lean into solitude, and keep moving forward towards healing and self-discovery.
 
Find out more at www.lifecoachluke.com
Contact me directly at luke@lifecoachluke.com
 

42. Pivot after Infidelity with Furkhan Dandia

In this episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with Furkhan Dandia. Furkhan is a therapist, author, speaker and coach.
After going through adversity and working in the corporate world as an Engineer for many years, Furkhan decided to pivot and pursue a Master's in Psychology. He is passionate about making a difference in people’s lives and working with them to find their purpose.
Going through a divorce made him realise how much shame there is for men around failure. That further motivated him to help other men. After seeing the life-changing benefits of therapy, Furkhan decided to become a therapist. In addition to becoming a therapist, he has also released a book, Pursuit Of Self-Love: 30 Uplifting Messages and Reflections.
We discuss the ability to pivot following significant life events such as infidelity. The difficulties in expressing emotions, especially for men. Why do we fail to do the things we tell ourselves we 'should' do and the reason the 'plateau of latent potential' stop so many of us in our tracks.
 
You can find Furkhan on:
Instagram: @eunoiazen
TikTok: eunoia_zen
YouTube: eunoiazen
Facebook: EunoiaZen
LinkedIn: Furkhan Dandia
 
You can find myself, Luke Shillings:www.lifecoachluke.com
luke@lifecoachluke.com 
 
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